HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM E.U.L. MkII!!!

With the year 2013 being just mere 2 hours away, it's just the right time to draw some kind of line and provide a top of some things related to 2012. Hell, even Super Adventures In Gaming did that. Let's not waste any time then and see what was good, bad and not that good in 2012. Go!


You can just look at my userpics history at VK to see how fucking awesome 2012 was.
Most referenced gaming franchise of 2012: Resident Evil, as it was in 2011, and as it will always be. After all, I've completed my RE movies collection around a week ago!


Wesker WAS a bad boy.
Most referenced single game of 2012: The Guardian Legend - due to my high activity on the forum, the start of Project Miria, and it all around being a kickass game worth playing anyday.


You say 'fan service' as it's something bad.
Best indie game project of 2012: Some would expect Project Miria, others will think it's Megiddo. It's neither. It's that stupid fucking game about a ball in a maze where I was asked to help with the graphics. Happy top scores at iTunes, LOL!


:|
Best point-and-click adventure game of 2012: Easy as pie: Cyberdreams' dark twisted epic I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream based on the dark twisted story by H. Ellison.


It's a spoiler, BTW.
Best action-adventure game of 2012: Crusader: No Remorse. I finally beat this fucker!


That's what I call fuckin' hilarious!
Best FPS of 2012: The Quake series. It was Quake I that made me decide to bring Megiddo to DarkPlaces, and the PS1 version of Quake II to kick my ass with its random save points. Haven't really played many FPSes last year, actually.


And you say Quake is all brutal and manly.
Best action-RPG of 2012: Cyber Org. Dear game, you are a bitch.


How can you not want to play that?! My only warning: prepare to suffer. A lot.
Best shmup of 2012: Boo-boo-booboo-boo-boo-booboo-boobooboo-booboo-boo-booboo... Tyrian.


Did you know that you can turn the logo by 180 degrees, and it'll look the same? Seriously, try it.
Best game engine of 2012: I think I'd go with OpenBOR.


Unghh, those Shermies...
Best ninja game of 2012: The fuckin' Strider duology, especially all that buttsechs I've suffered through to beat the 2nd one.


Come to think of it, why the most famous ninjas in gaming, be it Hiryu and Ryu Hayabusa, never use any stealth tactics, constantly mow down bosses 10 times their size, and it's still credible and passable? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it's fucking awesome!
Hardware purchase of 2012: A used Dreamcast!


Mmmyyy prrrecious...
Software purchase of 2012: The Crusader duology and legally free Duke Nukem 3D on GOG.com.


Wow, a New Year pic in the New Year related post? Who would've thought.
Emulator of 2012: Tie between BasiliskII and DeSmuME for making me able to smoothly play the original Marathon and Contra 4 respectively.


FUCKING Contra, allow me to add.
Portable OS of 2012: A tie between PSP XMB and Android. PSP, for being very hot last couple of months, with Tyrian, Crusader and Cyber Org and stuff, and Android for being installed on the cool tablet PC I've bought.


Yes, I've played this. Most shocking is that I've enjoyed this. Blow me.
Desktop OS of 2012: Ubuntu. From my decision itself to go Linux, to the neverending story of libsdl-dev refusing to be installed there. Agh.


This is way better than the SDL logo, trust me. Show me the latter, and I'll turn into Hulk.
Best movies of 2012: Men In Black 3 (was so hilarious that I was laughing my ass off even during the serious moments), The Expendables 2 (no comment here), Dark Shadows (that's Tim Burton we all know and love!), Resident Evil: Retribution (best of the live-action flicks, IMO), Wreck-It Ralph (no comment here, either).


There was Leon in RE: Retribution. Oh, hi Michelle.
Worst movies of 2012: Snow White and the Huntsman (the most pointless and forgettable movie I've seen in a long time), Prometheus (didn't tell anything I wanted to know, see my elaborate dismemberment of it here).


I wouldn't be as bitchy if they renamed the movie to Metroid: The Beginning or something, but they didn't. Hell, I'll call Charlize Theron's character Samus Aran anyway.
Movie series of 2012: The Chronicles Of Riddick (Pitch Black, Dark Fury, The Chronicles...) - because I've finally completed my Riddick collection, including Dark Athena on Steam.


In the pitch black, no one can see you act. Get it?
Best old-school movie of 2012: Streets Of Fire - Pare and Laine are such yummies! I promised you'll see them soon, so there you go:


*^_________^*
Worst old-school movie of 2012: Horrible Bosses - it's a long story, but the punchline is 'I didn't actually watch it'.


If my aunt, being a Friends fan, saw Jennifer Aniston looking this busted, I bet she'd turn to Hulk as well.
Most re-watched movie of 2012: Jin-Roh - can I ever shine more light upon this anime's ass?!


I know I'm constantly talking about this thing, but trust me - this shit is motherfuckin' ass!
Most frequently spinning song of 2012: Tie between Nowhere Fast by Fire, Inc. and Магия (Magic) by Джокер (Joker).


I SWEAR BY GOD THAT BLAZE FROM STREETS OF RAGE WAS MODELED AFTER HER!!!
The greatest composer of 2012: Andrew 'Necros' Sega. Would be boring to see C. Huelsbeck in this category over and over again, wouldn't it?


This guy can go to his grave knowing he has composed The Traveler and Dimension 2012.
The greatest nerdy moment: Michelle beating Metroid: Zero Mission. Babe, you got balls!


Take THAT, Muthabrain!
The worst nerdy moment: AVGN and Nostalgia Critic halting their shows. Boo.


Why Jimmy (and Doug), why?!
Most funny fucker of 2012: Miss Mediocre... eh, you don't know who it is. Let's go with Gabe Newell then.


Did you say something GOOD about Windows 8?! You will enter a world of pain...
Aerith of 2012: Wizard from Crusader: No Remorse. RIP man, the chicken joke will never be forgotten.


Where's his Power Glove?
Top 5 sites of 2012:
Super Adventures In Gaming
EmuParadise
Google (I bet you're surprised)
The Guardian Legend Fansite (and Forum!)
YouTube


I said LOAD THIS FUCKING FUNNY CATS VIDEO!!!1 =___=
My top viewed posts of 2012:
Happy Birthday Harrison Ford!!! - 13.07.2012 - 565 views
Crusader: No Remorse [1995] Revisited - 11.12.2012 - 190 views
Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade [1999] Revisited - 13.12.2012 - 175 views
Super Metroid [1994] - 21.05.2012 - 136 views
My Top 10 Favorite First-Person Shooters - 16.05.2012 - 131 views


I'm sexy and I know it.

Cybernetic Empire & Edge Of Skyhigh

Hey, remember in the opening post I have stated that I'll never put any download links here? I'm hereby forced to make an exception now, with two obscure PlayStation games, named Cybernetic Empire and EOS: Edge Of Skyhigh. The reason I'm doing this is that I've googled the hell out Google for around a week in sum to find their ISOs, until there was an obscure torrent file I've stumbled upon that finally contained both. So, just to ease your suffering, I've stored them conveniently on my DropBox, so in case you want to download them, look no further:





Cybernetic Empire: Disc 1 - SUSPENDED :(
Cybernetic Empire: Disc 2 - SUSPENDED :(





Edge Of Skyhigh - SUSPENDED :(

That torrent file.

Password: 21lv0hk1t$

The Cyberpunk Week, Day 7: All That Remains

Alright, as the Cyberpunk Week is over today, it's time to wrap things up properly. These are the things I'd loved to review during the Week, but did not for one reason or another. The most prominent is the fact that most of these movies do not need reviews at all, they're that famous already, and everybody in the world would do them better justice than I will ever be able to. Or hell, maybe I'll do the Cyberpunk Week 2 at some point. What do you think?

Terminator 1-4 (+ the TV show)


:|
A mandatory watch for everybody. The first two are probably the greatest action-sci-fi flicks ever, next only to Blade Runner and Star Wars Ep. 4-6. The third is a retarded fan fiction, but still worth sitting through. Haven't seen Salvation and The Sarah Connor Chronicles, but I don't miss them.


Whoever spots Bill Paxton among the punks, will get a cookie. AND PUT IT DOWN!
RoboCop 1-3 (+ the TV show, animated series, miniseries)


Don't you just feel being disintegrated now?
If you haven't seen either of them, then what the hell you're doing here anyway... the first one is a timeless action classic, the second is so bad it's great, and the third is surprisingly okay. Haven't seen the cartoon, but the TV series were good. Prime Directives was also pretty nice, despite its reputation.


Did he look like a bitch?!
The Matrix 1-3 (+ Animatrix)


Boo.
The definitive cyberpunk franchise of the 2000-s. It revolutionized the cinema in general, introducing a lot of concepts and cinematic gimmicks. While the basic idea was not exactly new, the first movie gained phenomenal success when it first came out. It looks dated and funny by today's standards, and personally I was never a big fan of its sequels or the Animatrix, but hey, at least they all follow the 'machines are not exactly evil' ideology.


I know John Woo...
Tron


Uh, yeah, that's Bruce Boxleitner in a funny outfit.
Another legendary classic that helped shaping the CG technology way ahead of its time. In fact, it was so ahead that the Academy rejected to include it to the list of 1983's Oscar nominees for special effects. Fuck you, Academy!!! There was also the famous arcade game that made more money than the movie, then a quickly forgotten FPS from Monolith, and finally, a glamorous 2 hrs long Daft Punk music video with The Divine (sarcasm) Olivia Wilde and something obsolete that once was Jeff Bridges. RIP, Tron.


Did you ever want to see the cockpit of the ship from Space Invaders?
Nirvana


Don't look at me, I didn't design that!
One of the childhood favorites of mine. It's like a cult classic for all the old-school cyberpunks, rightfully so: it somehow manages to capture everything that cyberpunk is all about, just like Johnny Mnemonic - evil corporations, virtual reality, messing with the brains and other organs, self-aware programs, you name it. The effects are great, the setting is great, Christopher Lambert is great - go see it.


Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.
Johnny Mnemonic


I freaking LOVE that tagline.
This movie has an ass reputation nowadays, but it doesn't work for me, since this is the exact pinpointed moment in time when I was hooked on cyberpunk. It may be a laughable exploitation piece of trash in the eyes of contemporary viewers, but it completely blew my mind back then. The virtual reality scenes are stunning as ever, Keanu Reeves is one badass dude, as are Dolph Lundgren, Takeshi Kitano, Ice-T and Henry Rollins. Yeah yeah, I know that the original Gibson short story is better, but it doesn't have such a huge nostalgic value to me. Sorry.


Hey, I forgot that Dina Meyer was in this, too!
The Lawnmower Man


No, it's not Virtual Girl... yet.
Wah, another classic from my childhood! This time it goes more for a thriller/horror genre, with then-unknown Pierce Brosnan as the star and a completely fascinating performance by Jeff Fahey as the titular character. Along the lines of WarGames, this one follows the message of 'computers are not evil, it all depends on the user', which is credible. It also has somewhat bad rep due to that silly Stephen King gimmick and lawsuit, but I still love it.


Welcome to the Uncanny Valley 101, muhahaha!
Gamer


I refer you to my last :|.
One of the recent attempts at modernizing the supposedly dead genre, now from the makers of Crank duology, Neveldine and Taylor. The basic idea is kinda awkward and not that new, being indirectly ripped off Nirvana, but the cinematography and social satire are real good. Gerard Butler is even more brutal here as he was in 300, and the main bad guy is played by that 13-years old hipsters' wet dream from Dexter. Last but not the least, as in Crank, there's a healthy dose of T&A, pissing in the gas tanks and comedic over the top violence. Nice try, overall.


Oh hey, I didn't know DeathKnight666[l33t] was in this, too!
Akira


BTW, this is Kaneda.
Regarded as Katsuhiro Otomo's strongest work, this anime is frequently bashed for being a confusing retelling of the manga, despite being directed by The Man himself. I never read the source, but somehow was still able to get into the story. Maybe I'm a genius, dunno. This is not exactly a cyberpunk movie in terms of themes, but the visuals are undeniably influent, taking your basic Blade Runner cityscape and turning it to a riot zone with constant bloodshed, self-proclaimed prophets, and of course, the government's parapsychological project gone berserk. This is also notable for being the first anime to be running at 24 FPS, and there was even a separate studio formed just to make this one movie.


This is Kaneda, too.
GUNNM (a.k.a. Battle Angel Alita)


What asshole drew this? Couldn't they hire me?
Another example of the 'manga's better' fan whining. I will never bother reading all the over 9000 volumes (yeah, I know this joke isn't funny), but I actually liked the anime. It has cute protagonist, great soundtrack, bloody violence, a grimdark setting that's too much even by cyberpunk standards, and finally, two great romantic subplots. Don't listen to the fanboys, watch it and judge for yourself.


Alita. Ripping out the bad guys' guts before it was mainstream.
Judge Dredd


The ultimate in :| posters.
Another prime example of a so-bad-it's-good guilty pleasure, adapted from the famous European (sic!) comic book series. According to the brick-shitting fanboys, it's a real bad adaptation, but as the movie itself, it's entertaining as all hell. Despite having Rob Schneider and nobody being able to say the world 'law' properly (watch the Nostalgia Critic's review!), it still has great special effects and set designs, good ol' Sly Stallone is awesome as always, the action scenes are insanely fun, Alan Silvestri's score is beyond memorable, and also there's Diane Lane. ^-^


We'll see her again in my blog, I promise! With Michael Pare, no less!
Appleseed


I actually have a poster of this thing, but I can't even remember the guy's name.
Another adaptation of Masamune Shirow's manga, and honestly, a pretty mediocre one. There were actually two versions - one in the 80-s, and a remake somewhere in 2000-s. The old one had a nice story, I guess, but what kills it is the drawing style - it's way too primitive even for that time. It looks so generic that you'd think that Masamune Shirow didn't give a flying fridge (no Indiana Jones reference intended) about the end product. Well, the final action scene is okay. As for the remake, it's a total opposite - the cel shading is great, but overall it's another brainless action film with nothing much to offer. I know it has its fans, so give it a watch... not my highest recommendation, personally, though.


...Yay..!.. Is it the 4st Birthday or what?
Dominion: Tank Police


Holy molars.
This one is a milestone in anime comedy, again being based on Masamune Shirow's manga of the same name. It's not that much of 'cyber', but the 'punk' aspect is given full stride. The comedy is great, the action scenes are thrilling, the villain is not your average just-as-planner. And oh God, the Puma sisters are hotter than hell. See:


Why are you looking at the guy in the middle?..
Virtual Girl


I love the Virtual Boy. It's so bad.
A hilarious sexploitation crapfest from the 90s, one of the so-bad-it's-good attempts at cyberpunk. The plot is a total garbage, being sewn together from the ideas that were explored in much better films. The only parts worth a watch are obviously sex scenes, especially the ones that take place within the VR. The female characters are okay, but those backgrounds always make me laugh my ass off before I am even able to ever be turned on. So despite the hot titular character (heh, titular), don't expect to jerk off to it, because you'll be too busy dying of laughter.


I hope you don't expect any quality entertainment from it, do you? DO YOU?! Gotta love the 'ACTION' sign, though.
The Cyberpunk Videogames


That sums it all up!
Waaaay too many to even count. I actually wanted to cover some during The Week, but alas... My faves include the Marathon Trilogy, Deus Ex, the Crusader and System Shock duologies, Oni, BloodNet, Beneath The Steel Sky, I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream, Metal Gear Solid, Unreal Tournament '99 (I know I'm cheating here), Quake 2 (oooh, cheating here, too), Snathcer, Contra: Hard Corps, Shadowrun for the SNES, RoboCop 1-3 for the NES, Coded Arms... oh Jesus, I must really love cyberpunk.


When you see this ingame, you will shit bricks.