Tuesday, August 27, 2013

The Space Marine Week #1 - Top 10 Space Marine Video Games (That Are Better Than WarHammer 40k Space Marine)

Well, the title says it all I hope, and without further pathos, let's get started. These are the ten best video games that I come up with whenever I hear the term 'space marine'. Now, let me make one thing clear - I've picked them from the games I have personally played or, even better, beaten - so you won't see Dawn Of War here, for example, even though I am completely sure it's an awesome game; just didn't have a hand on it (yet). Also, this time I'll pick one game from each franchise, to keep up with the 'ones I've personally beaten' criteria. Go go go!

Honorable Mention: DOOM

Putting it outside of the list because, despite it being an iconic game that influenced a whole genre of first-person shooters, the main character himself has little to no identity - and that was intentional, since it was John Romero who said that the DoomGuy is in fact supposed to be the same person as the player. So even while he has a face and a recognizable outfit, it doesn't really look massive enough and has nothing to do with protection (as you are collecting armor vests and shards throughout the game). Still, every space marine games list is incomplete without DOOM.

#10. Killzone

Check out my review of this underrated PS2 gem, but I'll still say a few words: it's a great futuristic Call Of Duty clone with interesting gameplay, complex map designs, several playable characters and badass storyline. I didn't like Killzone 2 much though, but Killzone 3 demo left me a bit interested. But even though I beat the second and third ones, I'm not sure if they'll fare up any better than the original, which is still a great game - check it out if you have a PS2!

#9. Gears Of War 2

I own the whole classic trilogy of GoW games, but so far have beaten only the first two. While GoW 1 was a great solid game, the storyline was a bit jumbled, starting right from the action and not ending on that much of a note. According to CliffyB's words in GoW 2 manual, the primary focus during the sequel's development was in fact the narrative update. Epic Games aimed to create the ultimate cinematic shooter that gives player a summer blockbuster experience, and I have to say, they succeeded. More rail shooting levels, more QTEs, the infamous cutscene with Dom (if you've beaten it, you know what I'm talking about), more use for the chainsaw - not only GoW 2 is everything-GoW-1-was-only-better, it also fixed and improved what was lacking in the first game, making it the ultimate modern shooter. The downside? No PC version, dammit!

#8. Turrican 3: Payment Day (aka Mega Turrican)

A third installment in the famous German lineup of run-n-guns, Turrican 3 is often viewed as the least best in the original trilogy. Originally it was developed for Sega Genesis under the Mega Turrican title, but the first version to be released was actually the Amiga port, renamed Turrican 3: Payment Day, and that's the one I'm talking about here. It's often criticized for more straightforward linear levels, the absence of Lightning Whip and revised health system - of that points I wholeheartedly agree only with the second one, while the first and last, in my opinion, made it easier and more accepting for newcomer fans, including myself. Also, it has more like a coherent story, with obviously anime-ish intro and outro that compliment each other. The music is fantastic, just like it always was, and I think this game has the most 'hits' (or, to put it in other words, less forgettable tracks) than the rest. I've once beaten it overnight, and it was a lot of fun - I'm actually planning to do a Let's Play on it. The only gripe I have with it is the uneven difficulty - it may be just me, but the second level I think is the hardest in the whole game, while even the train level (oops, spoilers) felt like a breeze. Oh well.

#7. Quake 2

Just take a wild guess on what makes this Quake different from the others - and I mean really different. That's right - first and foremost, Quake 2 has a story. It revolves around a group of soldiers descending upon the planet Stroggos, leaving only one survivor in a process, whose mission is to singlehandedly shut down the planetary defenses, rescue the comrades and ultimately, prevail in an epic one on one duel with Makron, the Strogg leader. Again, unlike the fantasy setting of Q1 and the WTF cartoony psychedelic limbo of Q3, this game is littered with rusty corridors, decaying machinery and, to quote TCRF.net, 'the best Borg wannabes late 1997-era technology could render'. The multiplayer was also a massive update, although it did blow chunks compared to Unreal Tournament release 2 years later, but that's another story. Add the amazing industrial rock soundtrack to the mix, and you got a timeless shooter, where, for the second and last time in the Quake franchise, single player was just as fun and engaging.

#6. Cyber Org

I can't imagine why Squaresoft didn't bring this outstanding action RPG to the West - hell, they already had half the text and speech in English! But oh well. Cyber Org tells a story of three space mercenaries, T.J., Gigante and Fosis, who once are assigned to escort some sort of a VIP and find their ship trapped inside a space superstructure named Bahram (iirc). From that point, all three of them have to fight their way through, cleaning up the dungeons room by room, sharing the inventory and using the shortcuts via the intricate area map system. Despite all the story messages and item descriptions being in Japanese, it is still playable and fun, although at times, the difficulty makes you wanna throw the console off the roof. Also, it has an unbelievably intense intro cinematic and kick-ass cover art!

#5. Gunstar Heroes

This colorful scrolling shooter was the best-selling Megadrive game in Japan, and all for right reasons. It was created by Treasure, a group of ex-Konami employees (whose previous work included Contra: Hard Corps among the rest), surely known for their innovation within traditional genres. The fun challenging adventures of Gunstars Red and Blue were ripped off in Rapid Reload (aka Gunners Heaven) on PS1 and got a remake/sequel on Game Boy Advance, called Gunstar Super Heroes, not to mention it's constantly released on all the 'Best of Sega Genesis' compilations for all imaginable platforms. I personally have it legally bought on Steam, XBLA and PSN (not to mention the PS2 bootleg and the obligatory Genesis emulator ROM) - it's that good. Also, quite recently I've tried playing it with my friend and the other day with my GF - we had a blast; I swear it's beyond fun and playable even to this day.

#4. Crusader: No Remorse

I've reviewed this masterpiece already, so to put things brief, it's a great isometric action adventure with gritty graphics and violence, fun challenging gunplay, puzzles, stealth elements, live action cutscenes and the legendary soundtrack by Andrew 'Necros' Sega and friends. Check it out!

#3. Super Metroid (aka Metroid 3)

Check out my elaborate review for the details, but in short, this is not only the best game in the series (doesn't say much, since only Other M is a notable stinker within it), but a groundbreaking piece of software in itself. It inspired many games, challenged many players and in 2007 got the Best Game Ever title from Electronic Gaming Monthly. Rightfully so.

#2. Contra: Hard Corps

Four playable characters? A storyline? Non-linear progression? Several endings? In my Contra?! Yeah, and it worked so well! Basically, Konami took the classic Contra formula and made everything bigger, badder, darker and creative. It never bores you, always throwing interesting twists in your face, has two secret endings (additional to the four available ones) and creates four characters that may be difficult to master, but equally awesome to play as. Also, the graphics are some of the best seen on the Genesis - unlike the bright and colorful Gunstar Heroes or Turrican 3, Hard Corps is dark and intimidating, with lots of freaky enemies and bosses you have to blast on your way. I especially like the chase/flight section where you're racing in front of a city full of Tyrell Corp-style pyramid skyscrapers. Nice touch.

#1. The Marathon Trilogy

I BET YOU'RE SURPRISED... NOT! Of course, how can my all-time favorite game not make this list? Landing on the first place, no less! What can I say that hasn't been said about it? Probably, just reprint my comment that I left for Top 10 FPS Games. Here:

To me, Marathon 2 is The Best Game Ever. Or, if you mean that it doesn't have proper evaluation... the whole Marathon trilogy has a solid and complicated storyline (some say it's ridiculously complicated for an FPS, but still it's refreshing to see something deeper than 'USA won WWII!!1 Maximum nanostrength!') that not only is exposed via Terminals, but integrated into the maps themselves, amazing hand-drawn sprites, dual-wielding (including shotguns), and overall stimulating and engaging gameplay, totally unlike Doom/Duke3D - it's slower and, like Unreal, relies heavily on ambiance. Marathon 1 is dark and creepy, M2 is bright and colorful, Marathon Infinity is arthouse and surreal... I like sequels that do not rip each other off, I like deep complex stories, I like 2,5D shooters, and to me, Marathon 2 is top notch among the trilogy... and among all games. :) Plus, they're all free and open source!

You can't beat a rocket launcher called SPNKR. You just can't.

The Space Marine Week - Intro!

Alright folks, let me address something here. To celebrate the release of two excellent and one mediocre big Hollywood blockbusters centered around space marine type characters and to promote the upcoming release of Edge Of Tomorrow starring Tom Cruise - a spiritual sequel to Oblivion - I've decided to dedicate this week to something related to space marines. It's gonna be a series of Top 10s where I discuss all media featuring the futuristic high-tech regular army members kicking ass, chewing kebabs and then kicking more ass. Hope it'll be a lot of fun!


The best one.

The pretty damn good one.

The meh one.

The upcoming one.

Monday, August 19, 2013

OneLiners - Issue #2

Le Dernier Combat - An awesome post-apocalyptic thriller, Luc Besson's first movie. Great action and atmosphere and top notch performances by Pierre Jolivet and Jean Reno. 8/10
Fellini's Casanova - From what I've heard it's the great director's most underrated movie, and I don't get it. It's not confusing as the majority of 'art house' flicks and flows like a hypnotizing historical drama peppered with the original vision of Casanova as a cult phenomenon. 9/10
Starship Troopers - A childhood classic; to this day it's the most violent and bloody movie I've ever seen in a theater (sic!). I'll never forget the evening me and my Mom went to see it, and of course I was blown away by all the gritty space marine action. It still holds up. 9/10
Sliver - Kick-ass erotic detective thriller with a brilliant cast. Starts off as a mystery, moves on as a porn movie and ends bordering the cyberpunk genre. The dialogue and sex scenes are un-fucking-believable! 8/10
Black Hawk Down - Since Ridley Scott has directed my all-time favorite movie, I had high hopes for this one, and boy did it deliver. The acting and action are intense and suspenseful as all hell, the cast is again excellent; also, the movie is based on actual events. 9/10
The Smurfs 2 - Yeah yeah, the de-evolution of mankind; blow me. Alright, it's kinda inferior to the first one, but not too much. The new characters are a lot of fun, and I liked the better integration of our and magical worlds, with Gargamel being a celebrity and all. The slapstick is annoying at times, but overall a charmingly nice sequel. 7/10
Elysium - An OK movie, not too good and not too bad. Everything is passable, but I really hated the camerawork, the love story and all the pathos oozing the whole second half. The weapons are pretty cool though. 6/10
Fear City - Pretty cool erotic thriller by Abel Ferrara. In terms of style and look it may easily rival Streets Of Fire and The Warriors, and that says a lot. Also, add kick-ass soundtrack and perfect cast, and you get an unforgettable film noir. 8/10

Monday, July 29, 2013

OneLiners - Issue #1

Well, alright. I've been planning this cute little experiment for along time, so it's time finally. Today I'm going to start publishing sort-of micro reviews of recently seen movies, each one occupying no more than 1-2 sentences. Let's get started!

Psycho - Hitchcock's immortal classic that I won't even try to do justice. Still very watchable, creepy and doesn't feel obsolete at all. 9/10
The Blues Brothers - the first half is rather boring with all the jokes being on one tone, but it picks the heat up as it goes. Also, Carrie Fisher! 7/10
Shakedown - a cute little detective/action flick with P. Weller and S. Elliot. Funny how Weller's character's name is Dalton, just like in Roadhouse; also, the death scenes are beyond over the top. 7/10
Wayne's World - I totally understand why it has its cult status, but the first movie is more cutesy than actually funny. Now, the sequel on the other hand... 7/10
Wayne's World 2 - I laughed so hard at this one I got a headache. The Asian martial arts movie spoof and the Village People reference just killed me! 8/10
Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery - a childhood classic for me. If you can't laugh at a sexist stereotype character named Alotta Fagina, then oh well. 8/10
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me - a pretty forgettable sequel, notable only for the introduction of Mini Me. 6/10
Austin Powers In Goldmember - this was a really good one, from the Tom Cruise and Stephen Spielberg cameo to the ridiculous plot twists at the end! The final battle was pretty anti-climactic though, but that's passable. 7/10

Monday, July 1, 2013

Dark City [1998] (action, sci-fi, film noir) - !!!SPOILERS INSIDE!!!


Studio: New Line Cinema,
Director: Alex Proyas,
Screenplay: Alex Proyas, Lem Dobbs, David S. Goyer,
Genre: Action, Sci-Fi, Film Noir,
Starring: Rufus Sewell, William Hurt, Kiefer Sutherland, Jennifer Connelly, Richard O'Brien, Ian Richardson, Bruce Spence


Were you missing my reviews?! I know you weren't, but if you're here, you have no choice but to read this post, why not because it's my loud'n'proud comeback to reviewing movies! So let's waste no time: looks like it's appropriate to introduce a new movie genre by this point - 'Blade Runner for the ones who didn't get the Blade Runner', as well as a new type of spoilers (speaking of, I'm going to give away A LOT in this review, so if you haven't seen the movie, please stop reading NOW) - 'Hey, this movie is kinda like The Matrix'.


Anyway, the magnum opus of Dark City happens to be directed by Alex Proyas of The Crow fame. While The Crow was an over-the-top film noir just as well, at least it didn't copy the 50s style and was based on a comic book that was overtly dark to begin with. So let's get one thing out of the way as fast as we can - I'm right now absolutely f-kin' tired of the 50s. All those fedora hats, raincoats, pin-up posters and horrible women's hairstyles just drive me nuts, because right now we are seeing them everywhere - from videogames (yep, I still love BioShock though) to the pizza restaurants. Now, I know I have a Humphrey Bogart CD holder, but at least this guy starred in the 50s style movies that were made in the 50s; natur-produkt, so to say. Why doesn't anybody go all cargo cult on the 80s aesthetics instead?! I want my tiger spandex and hairspray mullets back! But oh well.


So, basically Dark City follows your standard Indigo Prophecy meets Nightbreed meets Brazil fare. But at least Indigo Prophecy has the honor of being my most hated videogame, Nightbreed had David Motherf-kin' Cronenberg and Craig 'The Cutie' Sheffer, and Brazil had a good message underneath its noisy and tiring visual style. Having none of that, Dark City is probably the first movie I'm going to proudly declare 'Adorably Pointless'. Seriously, the whole moral is given among the very last lines of those 110 minutes of pseudo cyberpunk.


Our story begins when the main character, who looks like M. Night Shyamalan eating up Ray Liotta and barfing out Jude Law (while being played by Rufus Sewell instead of all that), wakes up in a dirty tub with no clothes, a drop of blood on his forehead and, of course, some hardcore amnesia. Later on he wipes the blood off, suits up and finds a dead hooker in the next room. Turns out, there's a killer on the loose, and the moment you learn that, you immediately know what's going to follow. Later on, the movie becomes sort of like The Adjustment Bureau, with a group of stylish Cenobite ripoffs controlling all time, space and matter in the city, to the point that there's always evening on the streets. But at least The Adjustment Bureau had an okay plot twist in the end, while here the boo-boo bad guys remain this way throughout the whole story. Practically, they're this movie's version of the Matrix Agents - hell, they even say 'Mister Mur-rdoch!' whenever they see our hero.


Turns out, Murdoch is the only citizen of this weird place who has no submission to the time-space alterations that the Agents practice. Instead, he spends most of the time making his best djoged face, wondering what the hell is going on and battling the bald meanies with his ultra-super-cool telekinetic powers (you know we'll have to reference David Cronenberg again here, but which movie? Hmm, Videodrome I guess). So basically all the action scenes here look either like the early 2000s videogame cutscenes or really bad Harry Potter magic duels, or most frequently, like both at the same time.


Oh well, that's all for the main hero and villains for now, so let's talk about the supporting cast. There's the Doctor who (no pun intended), despite being played by Kiefer Sutherland, has only the purpose of making puppy dog eyes and acting like the villains' henchman, constantly switching sides to the point where you stop caring about him by the end, as his importance to the story fades into obscurity. Also there's the Inspector, played by William Hurt, who gets my personal Sarcastic Oscar for having the most laughable death scene in the movie. Oh, and there's Murdoch's wife, who despite being played by Jennifer Connelly, acts simply as a plot device that doesn't add much to the story just as well, to the point when Murdoch starts caring about her during the last 10 minutes or so.


And boy, these last 10 minutes! Okay, so by that point the movie flows very seamlessly. There are actually enough good ideas to outweigh the bad ones, and even the majority of bad ideas are played around from not always good, but at least interesting angles. But sweet holy almighty Jesus, nobody can tell you how do I HATE when this seamless flow - I'm talking about movies in general here - by the end is just flushed away in favor of showing the viewer some pew-pew battle action and pretty images just for the sake of all the popcorn bowls being emptied before the end credits roll! It's like Mr Proyas and the writers just said 'Ah screw it! The audience must be very asleep by the end of this sci-fi murder mystery, so let's just throw in something obnoxious to wake 'em up!'. And they did it, they f-kin' did it. This is what killed Ghost In The Shell 2, this is what could kill Jin Roh (and I bet my Back To The Future Collection DVD box set it will kill the Hollywood remake!!!) and tried killing Jack Reacher.

Yep, you know what I'm talking about - it's when the movie's pace and tone lose all shit and jump the shark as all the thought-provoking philosophic dilemmas and deep scenes result in the main guy picking up his machine gun (or telekinesis in this case) and blasting the crap out of everything in sight. And that's what Murdoch does! He and the head bad guy have a duel of psycho waves and evil stares while the villains' lair is crumbling around them, all rendered with the gloriously awkward CG of the late 90s - early 2000s. I facepalmed during the good half of the end battle, I swear.


And the very ending [cutscene?] doesn't give a f-k just as well. It's all so sugary fine and dandy that I'm surprised you didn't just end up beating yourself on the head and shouting 'What?!'. Basically, the same thing as I've described in the last paragraph - 'Hey, let's hammer in the moral at the last minute - there may be autists in the theater!'


Alright. From what I said above you might think I hated this movie, while in reality I didn't so at all. Basically, I have only two real big gripes with it, one subjective and one objective. The subjective one is my poor decision to watch Dark City right now, when I'm sooo tired of those 50s aesthetics. The objective one is that it follows this sickening trend of 'movies that start making sense halfway through'. Yep, one of those - during the first act you have absolutely no idea about what's going on, then it gets all suddenly explained in plaintext, and by the third act you're only re-thinking the beginning while losing concentration on what's going on with the story at the current moment. Always hated this stuff - Predators is one of the more recent examples of it.


Everything else is just my personal nitpicking. Someone will find the CG being well-aged, someone wouldn't laugh at the end action scene, someone would appreciate the revelation of what does the City look like from the outside... someone, just not me. After all, it is considered a cult movie with all its 7.x ratings on IMDB. Probably so many people saw the essense of life within it or probably started a new religion, or it's just the same case as The Shawshank Redemption, which gets its IMDB scores simply because not many people dislike it. I can't hate Dark City, too - for one thing, it's adorably pointless, and hating something pointless is a pointless thing in itself; and despite all the ironic giggles heard from my seat during those 110 minutes, I did care about the plot (eclectic as it was), the characters (pointless as some of them were), the ideas and what was going on. Not from the very beginning, but I did - so take Dark City for what it's worth.


My Rating: 6/10 (could be better, but okay as it is; very reluctant to call it 'mediocre')